People who batter have a need to gain and maintain all of the power and control in the relationship. People who batter come from all walks of life but have common characteristics:

• Insecure
• Emotionally dependent
• Excessively jealous
• Manipulative
• Can be very charming and then suddenly angry and violent.

Abusive partners are frequently described as being like “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." Abusive behaviors are chosen to maintain power and control. Abusers will tell you that you caused the abuse or that you are “crazy." This is not true. Nobody likes being abused or is responsible for someone else’s behavior. It is normal to feel crazy because abuse is a crazy situation.

(from www.nnedv.org)